In Memory of Warmer Summers

Chief Joseph Pass, MT to Hamilton, MT

Continental Divide crossings: 1

Total Divide crossings so far: 9

Miles: 64

Total miles so far: 3,742

The Bitterroot River as it flows north in the Bitterroot Valley

This is July 4th weekend.  The holiday falls on a Monday, so all over the country there are big plans being put into play.  While the nation celebrates, there are those who approach the date with a heavy heart.

I want to re-visit a topic I brought up a few days ago, regarding roadside memorials.  Allow me to explain that I did not wish to photograph any of the many, many roadside memorials we have encountered on this journey. For the purpose of this blog, regardless of how intimate some of the posts I have written, I thought it intrusive that I use a memorial photo in this journal.  That is…

...until I saw this one today.

At a wider angle, it looks like this.

Not only is this one freshly decorated, but the caretaker of this marker of the heart took the time, trouble, and tools to the site to mow the grass and decorate the cross with a red white and silver pinwheel on the top, a fresh teddy bear just below, new flowers, and the other decorations seen.

Let me also state that some of what I am going to say may seem a little bizarre, and if it does, thank God you are not in a position to understand.  To understand is to know grief from unaccountable loss.

I should also state that I believe in Rule #1:  It has been my observation that we do a terrible job in our culture when dealing with death, and grief in particular. So if this is bizarre to you, I can only say, let it go for now, and think about it as time goes on.

When Carlie was buried in the Rawlins cemetery, it was January and the earth was frozen.  When frozen fill is used, it settles considerably in the spring when the frost comes out of the ground.  The marker that was pictured in the Rawlins photos was placed too close to the fill used, and when spring came the marker began to collapse into the grave.  There were other problems with the cemetery crew and this was too much for me.  We had a meeting of the minds, and repairs were completed to stabilize things, but not to my satisfaction.

My solution was to take matters into my own hands.  I got some nice topsoil, a soil tamper, and ordered some Kentucky Bluegrass sod.  The tamper I used is a motorized unit, often referred to as a jumping  jack tamper.  It makes a lot of noise and attracts a lot of attention.  I think that’s when the cemetery crew learned on their own to let me be.  I tamped the soil, filled in and leveled the area with fertile topsoil, I placed new sod on the  grave site and rigged a 50 gallon barrel in the back of my Jeep with a hose so I could go and water the sod frequently, not only until it took root, but on a regular basis thereafter.

Of course, that patch of turf grew faster than anything in the cemetery, so I would mow and trim the grass weekly, if not sooner.

I’d bet a month’s pay they were talking about me down at the local diner.  Maybe they were consulting with local therapists to find out if someone should intervene.  I hope not, because most therapists would want me committed (see Rule #1 above), but that’s for another topic.

Here’s the bottom line.  This was excellent therapy for me.  As bizarre as it may sound to the uninitiated, this was something I could do in a situation where I was otherwise quite helpless.

So…back to the caretaker of this site for Stephanie in Montana.  I will publish the pictures I have here of your work.  My guess is the fresh signs of attention may be related to the upcoming holiday, and to the extent that you went to tidy things up, I think I can say I cannot image what it is like for you, but I know what it was like for me, and you have my sympathy and my respect.

Please…everyone have a safe and enjoyable Independence Day as we move forward past yet another marker on the calendar of our hearts, and perhaps elsewhere too.

Looking behind us as we travel north through the Bitterroot Valley

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Tomorrow’s ride is dedicated to Jeffery Vale Anderson

Jeffery Vale Anderson

Jeffery Anderson was a Sheriff’s Deputy for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.  His hometown in California was Lancaster.  On April 28, 1984, Jeff was off-duty driving with his fiance, and was killed in a motor vehicle collision with a drunk driver.  His fiance was critically injured.  The collision took place one month before they were to get married.