In Memory of Warmer Summers

Corvallis, OR to Neskowin, OR

Friendly horn taps: 2

Miles: 82

Total miles so far: 4,659

The inland farmland of Oregon, soon to give way to the Pacific coast

Upon close examination of this journal, it will become apparent that there are no references to offenders in my writings, or in any of the dedications.  This is very much intentional.

There is a time and a place for addressing the wrongs committed by another.  In my situation, I was able to speak freely with the investigators, and the prosecutor.  Sometimes I spoke too freely, but that goes with the territory and they understand.  I had the opportunity to address the court by way of a victim impact statement, and spoke again at a hearing requesting early release from prison (notice I did not say I spoke to the defendant, because the defendant, though present, probably never heard a word I said).  I was able to speak to the media upon sentencing.

The system functioned, and there was a sentence of less than one sixth of what the state requested of the judge.  But then it was over.  There was nothing more to do in that context.

A long time ago I knew had to resolve the understandable anger I had for the person who killed my daughter.  I guess, in all honesty, I really didn’t have to, but I chose to.   The alternative — to hang on to the anger and allow it to become part of my life is the equivalent of me taking a poison every day with the intention of making someone else ill.

Letting go of that took some hard work, but I do not live my life governed by what someone else did.  I have a terribly shattered heart from my daughter being killed.  That is quite enough to fill my plate, and I do not have much more room anyway.  I am not a hero.  I am no angel.  I am merely a struggling weakling who made these decisions for the sake of my own survival.  When I speak of moving forward, I can choose to take with me what I need.  I’ll take my daughter along, but leave my offender behind.

I raise this point because many of the dedications that were submitted to me for this journal spent a lot of time addressing the offender.  Some of them barely spoke of the son or daughter, father or wife.  I was quite saddened to read of the energy devoted to an offender when what we were trying to do is honor the loved ones.  I reserved the need to edit those too.  This journal is not the place for offenders, this is for our loved ones.

There is a time and a place for addressing the behavior of our offenders.  One of the benefits of MADD Victim Advocacy is that we help people work through some of those issues.  We assist people in preparing their victim impact statements for the court.  We help people prepare and present their stories for Victim Impact Panels.  We work with our volunteers structuring their energy in positive ways, like advocating for ignition interlock devices on the cars of all offenders.  There is a lot of work to be done, and MADD is in the front leading those efforts.

Please consider supporting MADD with a donation today.  There are two more days remaining in this cross-country ride.

A cloting adjustment as we leave Corvallis in the rain

Now...that's a log deck!

A coastal forest. Heavy on the green.

"How do you capture these huge trees on film?"

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Tomorrow’s ride is dedicated to Dupre’ Benning

Dupre' Benning

Dupre’ Benning of Bridgeport, Connecticut was killed by an underage drunk driver on June 16, 2004.  Dupre’ was an active citizen in the community and was active in the student body at Sacred heart University.  Dupre’ was 29 yeas old.